Exploring systems that work.

short

18 posts

Short: Be a Good Follower

by David Hadwin
2 min read
short Social

I used to think the most prestigious seat in any group was the leader’s.

They get the fame. The reputation. The spotlight. The glory. And I watched a lot of people land in that seat who… weren’t actually trained for it. They’d been promoted, elected, or just loud enough to end up there — and then the whole team had to live inside whatever that person was or wasn’t ready to hold.

I’m not usually trying to be that person. I want to change systems from the inside… without needing the crown. In most rooms, I don’t want the crown.

What I didn’t understand for a long time is that being a good follower is harder than being a good leader.

A team with a bad leader and good followers will usually end up in a better place than a team with a good leader and bad followers.

Good followers know how to move together. They help shape the path. They push back on bad decisions. They say when something doesn’t feel right — when it isn’t aligned with their purpose, or the purpose of the team. And if a leader keeps dragging them somewhere they can’t stand behind, they’ll just start walking in the direction the team feels is right… and the leader is forced to “follow.”

Bad followers do the opposite. They follow the leader blindly, even against their own intuition. They’re afraid to stand out, or afraid to be wrong, so they hand their power over to “authority” — and create a single point of failure, a single point of power. And as we know, where power is concentrated, corruption sneaks in.

Take a team whose leader says they should set up their new base in the desert.

Good followers push back. Is this aligned with our mission? Will this lead to our success? Does this feel right for me? They’re constantly checking whether the path being chosen still matches why the group exists. If they end up in the desert, it’s because they share a belief that it’s the right place.

Bad followers go to the desert… and when it fails, they blame the leader. “He’s a bad leader,” they’d say. “Someone else should be leader.” As if swapping the crown fixes the real problem — that they gave up their power. Their ability to co-create the journey with their team; the fact that God / the Universe can speak through anyone… if we’re willing to listen.

So maybe it’s time to stop blaming your boss for everything you think is wrong, and start seeing how you can lead a change as a follower.

How to be a good follower

  1. Work on yourself. Understand your feelings and sensations (Circling).
  2. Listen for the leader. Being isolated from the group means leaders often don’t hear the murmurings of their people. Listen. Understand it deeply. Separate fear from truth.
  3. Have the courage to speak out — The Courage to Be Disliked, the courage even to be kicked out of the group. Speak for others if no one else will. Or speak for yourself if they do.

Only then will the world not be plagued by bad leaders — it’ll be directed by good followers.

Short: A Diamond in Tupperware

by David Hadwin
1 min read
short Spiritual

When I was in Yogaville, during the Living Yoga Training (LYT) program, there was a teaching that stuck with me.

The teacher, sitting on the floor, filled a glass tupperware with water. Then she held up a large diamond.

“This is you,” she said. “Your true essence.”

She dropped it in the water and spun the water with her finger.

As it circled, she started adding all manner of things. A few bits of cooked pasta…

“…but then comes your beliefs.”

A stream of soy sauce…

“…and your fears.”

Some peas and carrots…

“…and what your parents told you. What that bully said…”

A bit of tomato sauce…

“…your traumas. Judgements.”

The water kept spinning. Every once in a while you’d catch a glimmer of the diamond hitting the side wall… then it would disappear again into the murk.

“This is you, in life,” she said. “The goal of yoga is to clear this water back to its original form. To allow the real you to shine through.”

I’ve carried that image ever since.

We don’t lose the diamond. We’re “taught” to bury it. Doctrines, fears, beliefs, other people’s voices, old wounds, judgements… they cloud the water, hiding your true self. But your true self is still there, hidden. Hidden in a mixture of our own making. We weren’t aware that we were building this mixture, just that we wanted to fit in, be loved, survive. Each time, hiding a part of ourselves. We’ve talked about this before as Triangulation.

The goal in life isn’t about becoming someone new. It’s about clearing the water… so the diamond can be seen again. A part of that is understanding why we’ve added each ingredient, what purpose does it serve?

Let the world see the real you. Do you have questions? Join us at badadvicebooth.com, or sign up to be notified when we’re live.

Short: Coaching

by David Hadwin
1 min read
short Spiritual Social

As a coach, people don’t necessarily need your knowledge, nor do they need your skills. We’re soon getting to a world where all knowledge will be available, yet people will still be stuck. Material things don’t break spiritual things, only spiritual things can do that. You, your essence, the energy that is intrinsic to your being affects people whether they’d want it to or not…and that’s transformative. That effect is based on your ability to let your essence flow through you unimpeded.

That effect is base on your ability to be you, truly, authentically you.

Just like removing a feather from a leveraged car can send a it falling off a cliff, some people will be primed for that effect. Most people, however, will need that energy, your essence, over a period of time, like lifting a rail car to a different rail, slow and steady. This is what people pay for, the energy required to change rails. Once done, it can never go back to its old track.

Short: Carnivore Diet

by David Hadwin
1 min read
short Health

I've been intrigued with the idea of the "carnivore diet" and have been puzzled by its amazing healing abilities, specifically with auto-immune diseases. But I recently learned that the main protagonist for increased stomach acid production IS protein and while pondering this fact in the shower, the puzzle starting falling in place.

By taking out all other foods but proteins, and their associated fats it primarily increases stomach acid (decreasing pH) meaning that the gateway to the intestines (the stomach) starts to strengthen. With that strength comes its purifying effects on everything that enters your mouth, killing microbes, and pathogenic bacteria. This also increases absorption of key minerals necessary to produce more stomach acid (zinc, and chloride - from salts) leading to a positive feedback loop.

Further down, in this new protected space (your intestines) a new simpler ecosystem develops that exists solely off of proteins, and fats; no longer providing habitat for quick growing, quick dying carbohydrate loving bacteria. This environment gets a chance to stabilize, and the excess protein allows regeneration of the gut lining. Which, in many autoimmune cases was leaking toxins and residue into the bloodstream, poisoning you.

Taken together this reprieve and regeneration of the digestive system allows the body to recalibrate, and once that happens, you can slowly start to reintegrate other foods. The reason why this diet works, instead of simply fasting is that, if you're missing key nutrients for the creation of stomach acid, fasting can further reduce your bodies need to make stomach acid, and while it can also give you gut time to heal...it doesn't build up its defenses like the carnivore diet can.

Just like everything else...this is a tool...

Short: Two Universal Perspectives

by David Hadwin
2 min read
short

I love this practice in Christianity, of sharing your sins; of sharing your struggles. The practice of shedding light on the parts of you that wish to remain hidden in a space with others that have shared those struggles. My favorite part, though this seems to be forgotten by mainstream anyone, is the beautiful space that's provided and held by the others for you to intimately reveal yourself. It's not met with judgement, but compassion, and even more often, solidarity. They too have felt those pains, those fears, those temptations and those struggles. You are not alone, and those parts of you, when brought to light, no longer can hold power over you.

Pair that with another favorite one of Christian beliefs, that God loves you. In all of that shame, and all of that guilt, God still loves you. In all of your failures, and all of your sin, God still loves you. There is nothing you can do to make that false. The only thing you can do is try to run away from it...but, however far away you are, or get, God will still receive you with open arms, just like the story of the prodigal son.

...there only exist two thrones in the universe. The throne of Christ; meaning connection to source, oneness, and light. And the throne of the Ego; meaning isolation, separation, and darkness.

But if we're honest with ourselves, it's usually our shame, and our guilt that keeps us from coming back to God or bringing things to light. We ask ourselves, who am I to be loved, forgiven, and accepted? "How could I be loved when I've done...[fill in the blank]."

I heard this absolute gem the other day from a famous Christian mystic preacher: That there only exist two thrones in the universe. The throne of Christ; meaning connection to source, oneness, and light. And the throne of the Ego; meaning isolation, separation, and darkness. He said, with these two perspectives being the only two perspectives in the universe, if you notice your ego in a moment of not being your highest self, the only way that you could perceive your ego is if you were seated in the other seat, the other perspective. And that the lie that we tell ourselves is that we associate with the behavior that we've witnessed ourselves doing and in our shame, and guilt return to sitting on the throne of the Ego, of darkness, shame, and isolation. "You're such a terrible person." we tell ourselves...

Instead, if we remember that the only way we can be witnessing our own darkness is if we already are seated in the light.

Instead, if we remember that the only way we can be witnessing our own darkness is if we already are seated in the light. And if we forgive ourselves for our darkness we are able to remain in the light. It's not just others that need forgiveness...you do too.

So make it easier to bring light to your struggles and failures by remembering this. By yourself, or with God, or with others, shed light on your darkest parts, and forgive them, for they are not you, nor you them. You are loved, you are kind, and you are a light, so shine like you were meant to. Bless everyone that crosses your path, and in the moments that you don't...forgive yourself.

Short: Constriction is Fear

by David Hadwin
2 min read
short Health Spiritual

As I’ve been aging, my body has been teaching me more and more. I used to think that when I was tight, I should stretch. That’s what we’ve been told—that’s what everyone’s been told. But then I ran across this gem: your muscles tighten when your body thinks they are too weak for the demand you’re putting on them.

Your muscles tighten when your body thinks they are too weak for the demand you're putting on them.

Another telltale sign came from understanding what happens to muscles when you die. Two very significant things happen: you become instantly hyper-flexible (called primary flaccidity), and after your ATP (the energy currency of cells) depletes, rigor mortis sets in, making your muscles contract. It surprisingly takes more ATP to relax than to constrict.

The answer isn’t stretching; the answer is strength and movement. Flexibility comes from strength under load. You need to work out those constricted muscles. You need to build up their confidence. Victory after victory, they learn their capabilities. You aren’t actually stiff—your brain just doesn’t trust you. To protect you, it contracts for fear of being hurt…

To protect you, it contracts for fear of being hurt...

Hmm… you say, that sounds mighty familiar. The parallels to our emotional state are uncanny. You fear, distrust, and constrict your actions—your love, your heart, your soul—because you don’t believe you’re strong enough to handle the pain, the hurt, the lies, or, as Shakespeare put it, “the slings and arrows of outrageous fortune.” But just like your body in total surrender, total relaxation, there is no pain unless you’re fighting the action.

But just like your body in total surrender, total relaxation, there is no pain unless you're fighting the action.

I’ve been inspired merely by the title of a book, Becoming a Supple Leopard, though I haven’t read it. However, that single thought—that single image—has guided my learnings about pain and resistance. What does it mean to be supple, physically, emotionally… spiritually?

In my mind, the word supple brings imagery of a finger poking skin and everything giving way—like a masseuse working muscles with zero tightness. No pain, no fear; a meek confidence. Paired with the image of a leopard, it brings forth ideas of strength, grace, and unobstructed movement. I think to myself: that’s what I’d like to become—physically, emotionally, and spiritually.

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Short: Harmonizing Better Together

by David Hadwin
1 min read
short Social

A friend of mine once turned me onto an interesting phenomenon; when humans sing together, the sounds that are in tune constructively interfere, while the sounds that are out of tune destructively interfere. You've probably noticed it before, how a crowd always sounds good. That crowd, however, is usually made up of a range of singers, even some that sing completely off key, yet, as a whole, the crowd has a wonderful voice.

You've probably noticed it before, how a crowd always sounds good

Just like in singing, all that we do, the companies, teams, or communities we build are made up of people who in some areas of life are "in tune" and other areas, not so much. When these people rub shoulders, and collaborate with each other, together, we always have a chance to be better than we are individually...but we need a "song" to attempt to follow. We need some organizing principles that we're individually, and collectively striving towards. Within those organizing principles, we need to have the conviction to speak our minds (whether we are right or wrong) and the humility to accept correction from our group. Not just from any group, but from our group, filled with the people trying their very best to follow the same tune.

This is the blessing and curse of community. In a church, team, or community that's aligned with our song...we are sped towards our destinies, stripped of those notes that aren't in tune (missing the mark). But in a community not aligned with your song...you get drowned out, lost, isolated. Your voice can be jarring. The pressure to lose yourself can be overwhelming...but don't give in...

Find, instead, the people singing your song and join them, at the top of your voice. In the same way that you need them, they need you, and together, you'll sing something beautiful!

Short: Chaos is Good

by David Hadwin
1 min read
short Spiritual Nature

Imagine you're in the middle of a storm, winds wailing around you so close that you can't see but 5ft in front of you. That's sometimes how our lives feel, we try to fix that by scheduling, controlling, and knowing what's ahead. We do that by planning. We try to plan how to get to what we want, and sometimes, that's great, but we also very often have limited imaginations and our stability keeps us in a mediocre life.

Do you know how a virus assembles in a cell? It makes each component of the virus separately, and they all just jiggle around the cell until they form together since each section is chemically attracted to the next. Out of the chaos, comes form.

Instead of looking at the storm as bad, imagine that instead it's building a path for you. If the winds weren't blowing, you'd know exactly what was in that direction...and it might be lacking. But as the winds blow, the stronger the winds blow, the more possibilities exist, the more chances there are for that direction that didn't even exist objectively before.

So, enjoy the storm, take this as a moment to reflect on what you want the storm to create for you, meditate on what your heart is calling for. Remember, the universe is on your side. Trust that, know that, and when the time is right, walk bravely in that direction.

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